What if you chose this? What if every experience in your life, even the painful ones, was something your soul chose for a reason? This is one of the most powerful reframes I share with my clients, and it changes everything about how you relate to your past, your present, and your future.
The Research Behind “What If You Chose This?”
Matthew Ferry, author of Quiet Mind, Epic Life, developed a system of muscle testing to explore deep questions about human experience. After muscle testing thousands of people using this method, he found consistent patterns across the board.
These statements consistently tested strong in the body:
- Human beings choose to come to Earth
- The purpose of a soul incarnating on Earth as a human being is to have an experience
- Human beings choose their geographical location on Earth before they are born
- Human beings choose their parents before they are born
- The soul arranges a select few significant experiences before incarnating as a human being on Earth
Why This Reframe Is So Powerful
Whether you believe this literally or use it as a metaphorical framework, the shift it creates is profound. When you move from “this happened to me” to “what if I chose this for a reason,” you move from victim to creator. You move from powerless to purposeful.
This does not mean you deserved bad things. It does not mean the harm done to you was okay. It means that at a soul level, you may have chosen certain experiences because of what they would teach you, how they would shape you, and who they would help you become.
How This Changes Your Relationship with Pain
When you stop fighting your past and start asking “what was this experience here to show me?” something remarkable happens. The charge around the memory starts to dissolve. The story loosens its grip on your nervous system. You begin to see the gifts hidden inside the struggle.
I have watched clients go from decades of resentment to genuine peace in a single session when this reframe lands in their body, not just their mind. That is the difference between intellectual understanding and subconscious transformation.
Putting This Into Practice
1. Choose One Painful Experience
Pick something that still carries an emotional charge for you. Something you think about and feel contracted, angry, or sad.
2. Ask Yourself: “What If I Chose This?”
Not from a place of blame, but from a place of curiosity. What might your soul have wanted to learn or experience through this?
3. Notice What Shifts
You may feel a softening in your body. A new perspective may emerge. You may suddenly see how that experience shaped a strength, a value, or a purpose that defines who you are today.
4. Let the Reframe Settle
You do not have to force this. Sometimes the shift is instant. Sometimes it takes time to integrate. Trust the process and be gentle with yourself.
Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Your Past?
If you have been carrying the weight of old experiences and you are ready to release them at the deepest level, I would love to guide you. With over three decades of experience as a Master Level PSYCH-K® Facilitator, I help people transform their relationship with their past so they can create a future that feels aligned, free, and full of purpose.
Book your free consultation here and let us find what is ready to shift.
Want to explore these ideas on your own? Start with The Human Guidebook.
Ready to go deeper?
For one-to-one support, book a consult with me.


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